So, what I've noticed about visual novels is that they shine best in dialogue, and the more time you can spend in dialogue the better. I was not very into this novel until Rubia showed up and started talking to the MC, for example. Another thing is that the transition from dream NPC 1 to dream NPC 2 and then to MC inner thoughts was unclear, and I had to adjust who I thought was "talking" each time, so as a reader, that transition being more clearly demarcated would be appreciated. Otherwise, great demo dude, I appreciate the good level of vocabulary :)
Looking good so far! I love the writing style and reference to a real event. This is me being super nitpicky but if I would make the blinks a few seconds less frequent.
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well made horror visual novel :) Rubia is so cute :)
-Made a Video.
-The Game: 15:02 (The 3rd Game)
"nice writing. especially at the start of the game."
So, what I've noticed about visual novels is that they shine best in dialogue, and the more time you can spend in dialogue the better. I was not very into this novel until Rubia showed up and started talking to the MC, for example. Another thing is that the transition from dream NPC 1 to dream NPC 2 and then to MC inner thoughts was unclear, and I had to adjust who I thought was "talking" each time, so as a reader, that transition being more clearly demarcated would be appreciated. Otherwise, great demo dude, I appreciate the good level of vocabulary :)
Looking good so far! I love the writing style and reference to a real event. This is me being super nitpicky but if I would make the blinks a few seconds less frequent.
I can't wait for the final product!
Cool short story.